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A New-found Reason to Run

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I am not a big fan of Cardio myself, particularly running, because for one thing I am neither a marathon runner nor have I attempted to join in one – well, not yet (not until this one).

However, aside from the fact that it really is a form of an ironic de-stresser, (an activity which seems apparently exhausting BUT rids off stress-caused fatigue, go figure), it creates a sense of freedom in a runner, well, at least that is to my opinion.

More than a year ago, I was literally heavy for my height weighing around 145 lbs. As of today, I lost not so much but 22 lbs through dedicated work-out (am now 123 lbs. FYI, am big-boned). Sadly, to my surprise, I lost the motivation that I once had. So, yep, today I decided to run again after a long while – without a concrete motivation.

With my mp3-headgear on, I jogged around the oval running track at the Batangas Coliseum (which was a bit disappointing ‘coz I was already exhausted after only 5 laps).

For some reasons, although I wasn’t exactly alone, (with the fact that there were actually a lot of unfamiliar faces who came to jog, play soccer, etc.) I felt as if I was. Suddenly, self-argumentative thoughts came into mind and started to validate the impression that I was doing a rather pointless thing,

My thoughts were, “So you’re running to get yourself a good rest? That’s clever. You’re still serious about this?”

The thought of “me running” felt as if it was a life’s metaphor – mine for that matter. I was practically going around in circles. I literally had no direction. Dusk was already setting in.

It felt as if I was running away to steer myself away from past hurts and disappointments. Fear became my motivation to run… away, that is.

I gradually stopped; I was panting. Continue reading →

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Intro to Self

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It took me days to decide on what my first post would be (haha). Truth is, I was torn between making a painstaking introduction of myself and, well, not making one at all.

For the first few days, all I could think of was “blah” and “zilch” but then the thought hit me hard right under my slightly masculine-featured jaw, “Is that really how I see myself? Blah? Zilch?”

For a moment I felt incredibly silly that I could not even squeeze anything out of my coconuts, anything to help me write a short life account about myself.

Minor paranoia kicks in and automatically presses the fast-forward button located right on the ingenious side of my brain – the visuals produced say that my blogging ambition is doomed to failure JUST BECAUSE I couldn’t write anything ABOUT ME. Oh, boy.

My hands and feet started to get a bit damp and cold. My already low-tolerance for the cold weather exacerbates as I alone am dousing in this air-conditioned room, no warm-blooded comrades to share the cold with; my breathing, heavy. This is me exaggerating my frustrations of creating a Blog introduction. All I could think of at the moment was to pacify the anxiety. What could be the problem? That, I was about to discover.

As I grabbed the coffee cup that I regularly use at work (it’s overly designed with cutie prints, i.e. hearts, strawberries, and shockingly ginormous flower doodles – yes, it’s so not me nor is the cup mine, no offense) I gestured for a gulp and eventually see this rather scandalous and dreadful sight – Continue reading →