I am not a big fan of Cardio myself, particularly running, because for one thing I am neither a marathon runner nor have I attempted to join in one – well, not yet (not until this one).

However, aside from the fact that it really is a form of an ironic de-stresser, (an activity which seems apparently exhausting BUT rids off stress-caused fatigue, go figure), it creates a sense of freedom in a runner, well, at least that is to my opinion.

More than a year ago, I was literally heavy for my height weighing around 145 lbs. As of today, I lost not so much but 22 lbs through dedicated work-out (am now 123 lbs. FYI, am big-boned). Sadly, to my surprise, I lost the motivation that I once had. So, yep, today I decided to run again after a long while – without a concrete motivation.

With my mp3-headgear on, I jogged around the oval running track at the Batangas Coliseum (which was a bit disappointing ‘coz I was already exhausted after only 5 laps).

For some reasons, although I wasn’t exactly alone, (with the fact that there were actually a lot of unfamiliar faces who came to jog, play soccer, etc.) I felt as if I was. Suddenly, self-argumentative thoughts came into mind and started to validate the impression that I was doing a rather pointless thing,

My thoughts were, “So you’re running to get yourself a good rest? That’s clever. You’re still serious about this?”

The thought of “me running” felt as if it was a life’s metaphor – mine for that matter. I was practically going around in circles. I literally had no direction. Dusk was already setting in.

It felt as if I was running away to steer myself away from past hurts and disappointments. Fear became my motivation to run… away, that is.

I gradually stopped; I was panting. Continue reading →