Photo above was randomly taken by my husband while we were on the bus during our trip to Manila for my son’s school field trip.
Among the 5 days of Prayer and Fasting (spearheaded by Every Nation churches around the world on January 9–13 of this year), I would say that this particular day (Day-2) was one of the hardest since I had to literally endure hunger pangs as early as 3:30AM and an entire day-tour looking (and running) after my kid.
Good thing, the Lord sustained me with all the strength that I needed that day, both physically and spiritually. I gotta tell ya, it was TOUGH! –but in the end, there was this sense of ‘good feeling’ having to endure it all by God’s provision of spiritual strength. I felt weak yet strong at the same time.
during the 5-day journey, I experienced a couple of wonderful spiritual breakthroughs:
- Learning that His Word is seriously, SERIOUSLY alive and active, I learned how to become more sensitive of and grasp and bathe in His presence each time. It was then that I was able to clearly hear His voice. Understanding that he LOVES us even though you and I have fallen short of His glory will help us appreciate spending time with Him;
- enjoy His presence (which sent a good shiver from the top of my head all the way down to my spine –a slightly frightening yet gentle shudder that I felt the urge to shake it off and compose myself, since I was at the library albeit in the remotest area where I hid from the rest so that I could spend a moment with God);
- literally envision His indescribable celestial beauty which made me see an ugly, naked visage of myself as he comes down for the sole purpose of simply embracing the barest of me (this was during the last day before the breaking of the fast where the people have gathered to worship);
- I felt the heavy weight of unwantedness finally taken off my shoulders. No longer a prisoner of that curtain, I could now see a clearer picture of who I am in God’s eyes and have found my confidence in Him. Amazing talaga, I can’t even begin to tell you how it happened.
With all of that, I know that these are just a speck of a speck of a speck of (you get my point) His wonder and glory and I am certain that I am yet to see more of His manifestation in my life and in the life of others around me.
Most importantly, I have come to realize that it’s not about me anymore. I now hear the pounding of His heartbeat much louder than ever – each beat resounding His deepest desire to seek and save the lost. I know I still have a LOT to learn. And there will be tribulations, I know, but my dearest prayer is that God would direct me, strengthen me and continue to strip me from all of my apprehensions as I carry out His great mission to go and make disciples of God in all the days of my life.
If you are currently reading this and you feel that hunger or thirst to know God or maybe you are in the lowest point of your life right now, don’t hesitate to GO and TALK to Him. I assure you, you will find Jesus just as I have found Him. You and I are no different, He loves you as much as He loves me.
I feel a little lost in the face of such great faith.
nah, man. sometimes, it’s really not about how much our faith is, faith the size of a mustard seed will do ika nga, but it’s really about God’s faithfulness in our lives maging sino man ikaw at ako. (**insert song “Wag Ka Nang Umiyak version ni Gary V. ahem.. “Kung wala ka nang maintindihan, kung wala ka nang makapitan… kapit ka sa akin…” you know the lyrics.. Cmown! Hehe.)