Just when you thought motherhood couldn’t get any tougher, kindergarten happens.

It’s been a very challenging week ever since my boy started his kindergarten schooling at the same University where both my husband and I work (thank God, I got the last Kindergarten slot for Bori).

For the past few days of having to look after him whilst working (since he’s on an afternoon batch), it’s been a requisite for me to go an extra mile as to my motherly efforts. Nevertheless, I thank God because I’m not the only one pulling the weight, thanks to my husband who’s been very enduring and also to the people who’s been very supportive of Bori’s journey to higher learning.

THE CONS:

• His super kulit-ness. Every now and then, I have to remind myself to be extra-extra-extra patient at his super kakulitan when at different milieus. Mind you that parenting at home and parenting at other places other than home are totally different things. Although, I confess I still lose my temper every so often, but hey who’s perfect? I guess motherhood is a lifetime work in progress to becoming a better inay;
• On Low-battery mode. Every time I feel so physically drained from mandatory to-and-fro’s just to get him what he needs for school, e.g. breakfast, lunch and other whatnots.
• Haggard as heck. As to taking him to his room which is a few blocks from my office, I think at some point I feel like I’ve neglected self-grooming just to keep up with the rush hour;
• Home-schooling pressure. Every time I would help him with his take-home activities and lessons that he would need to already have comprehended before the next day – a nerve-wrecking challenge;

and a few more not-that-big-of-a-deal complaints that I would just rather rant to myself.

THE PROS:

• Wonder-filled. Every time I lose my cool, I am always reminded that his kakulitan is a big building block of his character. I think he is just makulit because he is becoming more eager of things and, realizing that he is filled with so much wonder, as a mother I vow to always choose to just put up with his constant animated enthusiasm on almost everything and be by his side to explain to the best of my abilities.
• The brighter side of being inay-able. I gotta say that my physical exhaustion is none compared to the less-fortunate mothers around the world who are still doing a great job. I commend the mothers that lack the limb/s but not the spirit just to raise their kids honorably. I thank God with my life because I am physically able to attend to my son’s needs.
• Realizing a deeper sense of freedom. There’s been a lot of learning for me in the past months about defying vanity. Facing everyday literally bare-faced and not having to fear about not wearing makeup anymore has improved my role as a mom and wife in a way. Whilst doing the Caveman Regimen and Hardcore No-poo altogether (will post my update on this soon, sorry), I have cut a lot of time off from doing my hair and makeup before on a daily basis that often resulted to me not having enough time to tend my son’s and husband’s needs while prepping up in the morning.
• Realizing my son’s potential. I would initially feel disappointed when he forgets how the letters Y and H sound like. But I had to take a step back to see the bigger, better picture of him. They say we shouldn’t give up on difficult people because if we do, we’ll never know if that person gets to be great someday. I have my hopes high for my boy. And just as he constantly got to pick which words start with vowels and which with consonants, I couldn’t be more delighted, let alone when he told me that the color red being pertained to by one of his school books shouldn’t be considered as red because it just didn’t look red but brown. I realized that he was smarter than I thought he was.

All things considered, the cons really don’t matter. What made me feel a lot even better today was Romans 5:3-5:

3 Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5 and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

I learned that these “sufferings” no matter how big or small they are, are being allowed by God not to harm us but to better us and help us build strong characters that endure such. And that we must hope in the Lord always because His love conquers all sufferings.

Even by such parenting dilemmas, God is always ardent to help as we seek for guidance. Parents need guidance, too, you know. Even so, if you are someone like me who does her level best in parenting, then by all means, don’t let anyone tell you that you are doing it wrong and that they know better, because no one can do it better than the striving parent that you are – by blood or not, it doesn’t matter. All it takes is the right definition of love and you are set to a good parenthood journey.

As I wrap up this account, I am currently already debating with my boy who just arrived from school. He wanted to show off his drawings to his new playmate that’s currently doing her homework. I told him not to bug her at the moment but he says that he just wanted to show her his drawings. So he went and just showed her and came back at once. It’s not every day that a 5-year old kid gets to keep his word. #proudmom